David and I just got home from an amazing week.
For the past 5 years, we’ve made a commitment to invest in our marriage by attending a marriage conference.
It’s not that our marriage is in crisis, we just feel like if we don’t take the effort to focus on each other, our goals and our priorities, our marriage might begin to suffer.
The wonderful thing about the conference we attend, is that it’s held on a cruise ship! So, we not only get to experience teachings from some very thought-provoking, nationally recognized speakers, intimate concerts from some of our favorite Christian bands and artists, and time for just the two of us- we also get to enjoy unlimited soft serve ice cream and crystal clear turquoise waters of the Caribbean while lounging in a poolside chair.
It’s a pretty amazing week all around!
And we come home, armed with tools and resources that will benefit our relationship.
In Hebrews 10:24-25 it says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
We spur one another on by encouraging, motivating, stimulating, urging or inspiring them. This takes time and effort.
And I love how this verse says we shouldn’t give up meeting together. After being married for over 20 years, let’s face it…. It’s easy to become lazy in our marriages or to let other things take priority in our lives, like our children, busy schedules, work demands, and even ministry. If we’re not careful, the balance of our lives gets out of whack and we soon find ourselves not spending intentional time together with the love of our life.
I know my priorities are supposed to be
#1.) God
#2.) My Spouse
#3.) My family
#4.) Other Things (job, friends, ministry, etc)
But every once in a while (or maybe more than I like to admit) this lists gets shuffled around until I’ve made a complete mess of things.
David and I have tried to be intentional about spending time together over the course of our marriage. When our kids were young, we’d go out on dates occasionally. That was difficult at times because we lived far away from our family and had to rely on babysitters and money was sometimes tight. But we knew there was great value in spending time to reconnect with one another.
For several years, David would plan a short getaway for us in early December. He’d find a Bed & Breakfast that we’d drive to. We’d go Christmas shopping and enjoy dinners out and then we’d go back to the B&B and wrap the gifts. We’d spend time laughing and enjoying one another in ways that are tough when we’re running the rat race of life back at home.
Sometimes our dates are just going out for dinner after an appointment and then stopping at a grocery store in Indianapolis. We’ll walk up and down the aisles together, relishing in the fresh produce options because we live in a small town that lacks an abundance of delicacies. This might seem like a pitiful date to some people, but we really enjoy it…
I think we’d all agree that our time is much more valuable than our money.
We strive to invest our money well- so we get a good rate of return.
God wants us to be good stewards of our money and our time, and He wants us to be good stewards of our marriages. We must be responsible and take care of our marriages. God wants us to manage our marriages well.
If we’re not carefully investing into our relationship with our spouse, our marriage will not give us the rate of return we were hoping for.
It’s vitally important for us to invest in our marriages.
We’ve all been blessed by being given gifts of time, money, resources, and talents. It’s vital that we use these gifts wisely to bless our spouse.
Before David’s accident, I was blessed to be a stay-at-home mom. After David’s accident, he decided to retire. That means that for the past 16 years, we’ve spent most of our time together. Some might think that since we have all this time together, that we’re super strong in our marriage because we see each other all the time, day in and day out.
On the contrary- I think it’s been a strain at times because it’s easy for us to coast along, going about our own To Do Lists each day, just skimming along on the surface instead of being intentional. We’ve struggled with truly connecting at times because our days are filled with lots of projects or meetings.
I remember when David used to work long days at the plant, I’d feel a great sense of anticipation when 5pm would roll around because I knew he’d be walking through our front door soon. I knew the kids would be excited to see him. I’d be greeted with a hug and a kiss. We’d share about what happened throughout the day. We’d have dinner and then spend time together before putting the kids to bed at a reasonable hour.
These days, I’m sometimes guilty of not getting caught up in the same level of excitement anymore because we’re constantly popping in and out of each other’s daily lives.
2 Corinthians 9:6-7 says, “The point is this: whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful heart.”
This is a simple case of Cause and Effect- if we invest into our marriages, we will see positive results.
If we invest into our spouse’s life by trying to bless them daily, we, in turn, will also be blessed.
Our investment will not be void- we will gain from it.
So, I encourage you to find ways to invest into your marriage.
- Pour yourself into your spouse’s life. Find ways to love your spouse better.
- Go on a date.
- Cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie.
- Find a marriage conference to attend.
You won’t regret your investment!
Here are some resources we’ve enjoyed:
- Family Life Weekend to Remember
- Family Life Cruise.
- Family Life I Still Do
- Wind River Ranch‘s Couples Retreat.
Leave a Reply