A year can go by so quickly!
It’s simply hard to believe that it’s been one year since we were struggling to comprehend David’s cancer diagnosis. I remember we all gathered in the hospital waiting room while the burn surgeon removed the humongous tumor in David’s leg. We prayed that they’d be successful in getting all the cancer out and that David wouldn’t have to have his leg amputated.
Back then I wondered how in the world we’d go back to living our somewhat carefree days when bone scans, MRI’s and X-rays would be the norm every 6 months to follow up. Six months in between scans seemed like a ridiculously long period of time to wait. I joked with the doctors, saying I wanted David scanned weekly just so we could make sure the cancer wasn’t looming in his internal organs. I had no idea how life would get back to what it was before his diagnosis.
Since David’s original diagnosis, we’ve been able to put cancer a bit on the back burner. Life has gotten back on track and I’m blessed to say that my thoughts haven’t been consumed by anxiety, as I had feared they might be. Sure, when the six month scans came around I was a bit anxious and when the dermatologist took another biopsy a few months ago, my heart twisted inside my chest. Overall though, I have had peace throughout the last year.
But if I’m perfectly honest, I must admit that my heart and my mind are starting to wander again.
Part of me tries to stay positive as I wrap my thoughts around the God’s word found in Philippians 4:8 (NLV) “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Or Matthew 6:34 (NLV) “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
But a part of me struggles to not think the worst.
David’s 1 year follow up scans are next week and we will be travelling to the hospital in Chicago once more. He has a spot on his right leg that we’re a little concerned about, so that doesn’t help my conflicting emotions either. I’m trying really hard to cling to Truth and I know deep down that regardless of what happens, God will be there, to either celebrate with us or comfort us.
I try to think about what God has wanted us to learn from the journey we’ve been on, and I’ve realized three major lessons I’ve learned in this waiting period:
- I think the biggest life lesson has been that we need to trust Him with our yesterday’s our todays and our tomorrows. We don’t always understand God’s ways but I need to remember he’s been faithful to us and he’s never once left our side.
- Another lesson we’ve learned is to try to take one step at a time, otherwise life seems absolutely overwhelming sometimes.
- And each day we try to remember the many wonderful, amazing things that we’re blessed with. Family. Friends. Faith. The warm sunshine. A cool breeze. Laughter. Love. Beautiful sunsets. Mountains. The list is endless…
Do I perfectly live out untouchable peace and assurance in Christ? No. But with God by our side each step of the way, I’m learning more and more what it means to release anxiety and worry and to trust God’s plan.
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