Like every good story, our lives consists of twists and turns, conflicts and resolutions, protagonists and antagonists. The past six months have been some of the most difficult days our family has faced and we’ve definitely had some conflict and twists and turns. We’ve suffered great loss and right now it feels like I’m a little stuck in one single chapter. My mind and my heart have been numbed by circumstances out of my control and I haven’t had the strength (or maybe the courage) to turn to the next page in the story.
Today, many people are gathered around a family table, celebrating Thanksgiving and counting their blessings. This is the first major holiday since my Dad died and it is also the day my parents said “I DO” fifty years ago. In some ways, a new chapter will begin for us and I’m a bit fearful for what’s to come- what the story will look like in the future.
Today, our family is beginning our journey out to Washington State and we will bury my Dad this weekend.
Today is a little bittersweet for us. I’m trying hard to focus on the many blessings that surround me. I know that God is in this chapter too. But let’s be honest- sometimes life is just plain hard. I feel like I’m trapped in the conflict stage of the story of my life and I’m desperate for the resolution to begin in this crazy story. I want my heart to heal and my head to clear. I want to find overwhelming joy again that isn’t intertwined with sadness. I want to be ready for the next chapter with great anticipation instead of dread or this heavy heart inside of me.
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