Overcoming Insecurity: The Dreaded Gym

I finished stuffing my towel, hair dryer, flat iron, makeup, toiletries, shower shoes, clean clothes, socks, shoes, brush, book and water bottle into my bulging gym bag and heaved it up onto my shoulder.  I snatched my purse and made my way out to the cold car only to realize there was a fresh new layer of ice and snow on the front windshield.  Oh Joy!  Is all this really worth the hassle?  I feel like I’m moving out of the house for a week!  While I am the queen of finding reasons why I shouldn’t bother with this routine, my wonderful, encouraging hubby always seems to prod me along on this somewhat regular trek to the gym.

Let me make sure you really understand me…I dread going to the gym!  There’s not one blasted thing I like about it.  At All.  I already know I’m overweight and out of shape.  When I step foot in the entryway, trying to locate my fob to swipe to allow me entrance into this horrible place, I’m met by a very thin, attractive woman in her skin tight workout clothes.  Then I head downstairs to the locker room, only to be met in the hallway by other, equally thin women who have matching shoes and workout outfits (in a size 2!)  Motivation?  Not quite!

My redemption is actually found in the basement locker room that’s bustling with about a dozen women, all over the age of 65, who have just gotten out of the pool.   Do you need much more of a visual aid here?  They are stripping out of their wet swimsuits and heading to the showers.  Their flesh is in contact with the wooden benches that are situated in front of the lockers.  They chat amongst themselves while they get dressed.  They aren’t shy in any sense of the word.   A couple of years ago, our daughter accompanied me to the gym one day.  I completely forgot to warn her about the locker room experience because I had grown accustomed to it.  She was mortified!

But then I’m reminded of how these women in the locker room inspire me in the way that they feel comfortable in their own skin.  They just let it all hang out and aren’t worried about what anyone else thinks. I wish I were more like that.  I struggle with my body image.  My weight isn’t anywhere close to where it was when I graduated from high school.  I’m so out of shape that I get winded just walking back up the stairs from the locker room after my date with the horrible elliptical machine.  I feel inadequate when I’m put in the same room with someone who is in great shape and is all put together from head to toe.  My locker room ladies remind me that I should pat myself on the back for just making the trek to the dreaded gym.

So while I won’t traipse around the locker room buck naked any time soon, and I won’t place my bare bottom on the wooden bench, the next time I hear the voice of insecurity knocking on my door I will remember these women who have taught me that our bodies are gifts, no matter the shape or size.