How Other Burn Survivors Have Helped Us Heal

When David first was injured, the hospital he was treated at didn’t have any support groups for burn survivors or their families. We didn’t have any professional counselors checking in on us, or any resources available to help us navigate through the bumpy road we had found ourselves on. We
didn’t know how to help our children deal with David’s accident. We didn’t know how to reconnect with another as a husband and a wife. We didn’t know how to handle people who stared; we didn’t have the tools for how to share our story.

Several months afterward, I was given a brochure about The Phoenix Society for Burn Survivors, the leading national nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering anyone affected by a burn injury through peer support, education, and advocacy. The name comes from the legendary bird that lives 500 years and is consumed by flame, but rises again—reborn from its ashes—more brilliant than it was before. I called their office one day in a desperate attempt to find ways to connect with other families who had been affected by a burn injury and I needed tools to help our young children cope with
the tragedy that had hit our family. I spoke with the director of the Phoenix Society, Amy.

Back in 1999, there simply just wasn’t anything out there for us. There were not any books or brochures that listed out the steps we needed to follow. There were no support groups in our area. I was devastated. Amy shuffled through her slim resources and sent us a coloring book for our oldest daughter that talked about burns. Before I hung up the phone, Amy mentioned a conference that was coming up that summer in San Francisco, California. It was hosted by the Phoenix Society every year and was called the World Burn Congress. It’s an annual, international conference that brings together burn survivors, their families, caregivers, burn care professionals, and firefighters. That conference began to be our little beacon of light, as we made plans for David and I to attend.

Scared, lost, wounded and emotionally exhausted, David and I attended the World Burn Congress

in the summer of 2000, just eleven months after his injury. It took us over 2 hours every day to do his wound care in the little hotel room, but we were able to sit in on the many session that dealt with issues that hit close to home like sharing our story, dealing with staring, intimacy after a burn injury, and so much more. It was the first time that we felt like we “fit in.” David and I were blessed with lots of support from family and friends but they didn’t really understand what our lives were like because they didn’t live our reality 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. They tried the best they could to comfort and support us, but it wasn’t until we were surrounded by other people who walked in our shoes that we felt like anyone truly understood us. We walked away from that conference with a new found sense of hope and determination to help other survivors.

David and I continued to attend these World Burn Congresses and eventually we attended as a family because we wanted our kids to see that our family wasn’t alone- that there were others struggling with the same issues.

Last week, we had the opportunity to attend the World Burn Congress in Indianapolis. David and I had not attended the past three years and it was once again, like a big family reunion. The conference has grown to almost 1000 attendees from all over the world. It’s a safe place for people to heal and to share their stories of growing from a victim to a survivor. It’s a place to find encouragement. It’s a place to find comfort. It’s a place to laugh and a place to shed tears. But I must be completely honest, it was emotionally draining for me as well. Everyone has a story and some of those stories are filled with such hurt and pain, it’s difficult to process. Some people are in very tough places in their journey of recovery, while others of us are a little further along in the process.

I’m honored and blessed to be a part of this family. It’s amazing how a sense of belonging can transform your outlook on a situation. I pray that our story might offer hope to others walking through a similar story, because over the years it has been seeing survivors further along in their healing process that has given me hope. And I pray that no matter what hardship you’re facing, you will seek to find support in the form of other people. Because community can change your outlook and transform your situation.