Back in 2000, as the 1 year anniversary of David’s accident was quickly approaching, we began to think about how we would get through that day. We knew that if we didn’t stay busy, our minds would constantly be thinking, “It’s 8am, a year ago at this time David was taking Samantha to school… It’s noon, a year ago at this time I was putting Nathan down for his afternoon nap…. It’s 1:30pm, a year ago at this time I answered the phone call that changed our lives forever… It’s 3pm, a year ago at this time I was loading my husband into the back of a helicopter, wondering if I’d ever see him alive again.
The list of reminders went on and on. We didn’t want to spend August 20 replaying every moment of what happened a year ago. So we began to think of options that would not only take our mind off of that dreaded day, but we wanted to come up with a way to thank all of the people in our community for their love and support. Friends, co-workers, family and complete strangers had come to our aid over the past year and we wanted to show them how grateful we were. Instead of focusing on all that we had lost, we felt it was important to celebrate the gift of David’s life.
What better way to do all of this than throw a huge party?
We sent out invitations. We planned out the menu. And then we decided we needed a theme.
If you don’t know us very well, you might not realize how “quirky” we are, but after this post you surely will. David decided that our theme would revolve around the fact that he lost his right ear after the fire. He enlarged photos that were taken of him before his injuries and focused just on his healthy, pre-burn ear. These photos became poster sized images of only his ear. Our Sunday School Class gave us a plastic ear and we placed it in a small, wooden coffin on a table near the entryway of our home. David even wrote a poem for the occasion titled, “An Ode To An Ear.” His boss even brought a cake that was decorated with orange, red and yellow flames complete with an ear made of icing in the center (I have always wondered what in the world that cake decorator thought when this request came in at the bakery!)
Our home was filled with friends and family members that day. People from our church were there. David’s co-workers and their families were there. Our neighbors were there. The Emergency Room doctor came. Some of David’s nurses and therapists came. The paramedic that initially treated David even came. We were surrounded by love and support, much like we had been the entire year before. We were showered by the hands and feet of Christ.
That day could have easily been filled with dread, isolation, haunting bad memories and negativity, but instead we chose to focus on the joy that surrounded our family.
For the past sixteen years, we’ve continued to throw this Annual Celebration of Life Party, complete with crazy themes and lots of good food and music. We’ve had a luau, BBQ’s, an Asian feast, a Hollywood red carpet extravaganza, a Stayin’ Alive Disco party, a pirate party, an 80’s totally rad get together and a 1950’s soda shop, to name a few. This Saturday we will be celebrating 16 Years since David’s accident and it’s a Superhero theme!
Over the years, we’ve added an element to our parties that has allowed us to give back to others. In the early years we asked our guest to bring toiletry items to the party. Things like journals, notebooks, pens and pencils, deodorant, toothbrushes, etc. We collected all of these items and made up care packages that we delivered to several burn units across the country. These care packages were distributed to family members who found themselves in a waiting room, with only the clothes they were wearing when the call came to drop everything they were doing and to rush to the hospital. We included our personal information, in case they’d like to talk and we included newsletters from the Phoenix Society for Burn Survivors because we thought it was important for helpful resources to get into their hands.
In recent years, we’ve transitioned from collecting items for care packages and we’ve just asked our party-goers to support the Phoenix Society financially, if they’d like. The donations go towards sending burn survivors to the annual World Burn Congress, which is an amazing conference for survivors and their families.
It’s nice to give back. It’s nice to say thank you. And it’s nice to celebrate and focus on all that we have to be joyful about. I think these crazy parties give our guests the opportunity to see a family that’s had to tackle unspeakable odds, but that we’ve chosen to be ok with our situation.
Instead of being bitter and angry at life, we’ve chosen to celebrate it.
I hope our parties offer someone a glimmer of hope, that they too can overcome whatever obstacles they might be facing. It’s our hope that people see God in the celebration. And I pray that our guests feel the overwhelming gratitude we have for each and every one of them and the role that they’ve played in our healing journey. We couldn’t have gotten through the past sixteen years without our community of friends and family that have loved on us every step of the way.
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