It’s difficult to know what to do when someone you care about is hospitalized. It often feels like you’re spinning off your axis, and the most normal parts of daily life seem foreign. You feel so torn, because on the one hand you feel the need to be strong for your loved one who is hospitalized, and on the other, you feel weak and fragile. When David was in the hospital, I needed our community to step in and love me in ways I didn’t even know I needed.
This list is compiled from our personal experiences. These are some of the things that people did for us when David was in the hospital or things that we’ve done for friends and family that have helped lessen the burden of having a loved one hospitalized.
We hope it gives you an idea of what you might be able to do to reach out in a time when you might feel like you have no idea what to do.
- Visit them. It’s nice to have friends surround you for support but also to help keep your mind off the obvious.
- Talk to them. Not just about health related topics, but try to bring a sense of normal to their lives. It’s difficult to know what’s going on outside of the walls of the hospital.
- Make sure they’re eating meals.
- Get them to spend some time outside, in the fresh air- soak up some sunshine.
- Bring them recent newspapers
- Send cards and notes of encouragement
- Send goofy jokes in the mail. Everything doesn’t need to be serious in a hospital.
- Sometimes we just need to vent without anyone trying to “fix” things.
- Offer to watch their children- take the kids to the park or a museum. Try to get their minds off things.
- Help with household chores. Mow the grass. Wash the dishes. Help with laundry. Trim shrubs. Wash vehicles.
- Provide a home-cooked meal. Either for the kids back home or even bring it up to the hospital. (we had a dear friend who made delicious soups and froze them in small containers, then she delivered them to us at the hospital. We warmed them up and enjoyed them!)
- Loan movies or books to them. This helps pass the time.
- Provide time for the care-giver to get away. Maybe a pedicure, spa massage, manicure, haircut.
- Let them have some space too. Sometimes we need time alone so we can sob uncontrollably by ourselves without having to appear to keep it all together.
- Provide personal care items or offer to bring a change of clothes. Most times, we rush to the hospital without anything but our purse/wallet.
- Make a list of restaurants that deliver to the hospital, maybe even give a gift card for some of them.
- Give a parking pass or cafeteria gift certificate. Expenses add up when you’re at the hospital for very long.
- Have a restaurant cater and deliver a meal to the waiting room for everyone in there to share. This not only nourishes people, it provides a sense of community in the waiting room.
- Supply a few things for the people in the waiting room to make it more comfortable like blankets or pillows, magazines, a journal, snacks, drinks, etc.
- More than anything, pray for the situation and share it with others so lots of people are praying! I believe there’s power in prayer!
I hope this list, as simple as some of these sound, gives you an idea of how to love someone spending time in the hospital. It’s not easy walking through hardship, but it is made lighter when we don’t walk alone.
An excellent list. I prefer to be left alone when I am in the hospital. I’m not good at small talk. The suggestions about the paper or magazine are kind of standard but the food suggestions are very good, probably, because I like to eat. I wonder why hospitals don’t serve biscuits and gravy. They probably wouldn’t take it very well if a person did suggest it.
Bob, you are too funny! The hospital probably wouldn’t put any meat in their gravy either!