It’s been almost 21 years since David and I got married. 21 years! So much has happened in that span of time that I often look back at 21-year-old Carly and think “You have no idea what you’re getting into!”
In hindsight, neither David nor myself knew exactly what we were signing up for on July 2, 1994. I thought we would get married, buy a home, raise children, and go on vacation. Life would be picture-perfect, right? Well, little did I know that mine and David’s marriage would face hardship I’d never known, and you know what? Knowing what I know now, I would say these vows over a thousand times, because while marriage is hard, it is so worth it.
“This day I will marry my best friend, the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.”
“I, Carly, take you David, to be my wedded husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.”
If I could go back and time and give that giddy, excited girl in the white dress any advice from her future self, this is what I’d say:
Dear Carly,
You’ve dreamed of this day since you were a little girl and I’m so excited for you! An amazing young man has been placed in your life who’s committed to taking care of you, who will protect you, who will love you and provide for you. He will cherish you and treat you like the treasure that you are.
But it’s important to remember that God loves you even more! Don’t forget you are a beautiful child of God. Don’t try to place David at the top of your priority list- make sure God gets that spot. Don’t think that David can fill the God-shaped hole in your heart. There are just some things that God does that people cannot do. Have realistic expectations.
Things won’t always go as you plan, take the good with the bad and keep moving forward. You won’t always understand what happens or why and that’s ok. Lean on God and remember that His ways are not your ways and that He’s capable of immeasurably more than you could ever imagine. Dream big-don’t sell yourself short. Learn to communicate with David, he cannot read your mind so don’t be afraid to voice what’s on your heart. Honor God and respect David. Be his biggest cheerleader. Don’t be too prideful and not ask for help when you need it. Seek godly counsel, and remember you’re never alone.
Sweet Girl, I hate to tell you that the first few years will be rough. You’ll have to blend two distinct backgrounds into one- you each have family traditions and ways of doing things and you’ll struggle at times to figure out what’s best for you as a couple. I hate to tell you that life will not look like the picture-perfect fairytale you’ve envisioned. It will be harder than you ever imagined it would be, but it’s so worth the hard work. There is hope, joy and laughter in the pain you will experience. Cling to God for strength and don’t let go when everything seems to fall apart.
Storms come with a vengeance, but remember each day, the sun rises and it’s a new beginning- a fresh start. God created a rainbow after the storm to remind us of His faithfulness. Above all else, love others and do it well. Without love there is nothing.
In His amazing love,
Your Future Self
If you could go back in time and tell yourself something, what would it be?
Leave a Reply